As I sit here and reflect on the time I spent with him over the years I smile. Today Feb. 27 would have been my grandfathers 86th birthday. It's only been four months since his passing and every day I feel its pain. I see what his loss has done to the family and I've seen an uncles true colors. Why does death bring out the worst in people? Both deaths that I had to deal with over the past two years were messed up. But that's not what I'm here to talk about... I'm here to talk about my grandfather and to try giving anyone that may be reading this some insight to just how wonderful a man my grandfather was.

When I was a child I grew up knowing sickness. Some of the first memories I had were of my grandmother slowly dying of cancer. She was the glue that held everyone together. When she passed in 1989 (I was only 6 then) my grandfather was forced to step up and be the indestructible duct tape that bound us together lol.

Growing up My Mother and I lived across the street from my grandpa. (My parents having separated or divorced shortly before my grandmother passed.) On hot summer nights I remember walking up the sidewalk and looking up to see my grandfather there in brown slacks and a dirty old white shirt that was in dire need of a washing but no matter how many times it was washed the oil, paint, and other mysterious specks would be stained there forever. He would be sitting on the deck he just build looking quite proud of himself as he drank his mug of beer. Spotting me he would wave, or place his thumb to his nose, stick out his tongue as he wiggled his fingers making a face that always made me laugh. He would beckon me onto the Deck and treat me to a piece of candy. He would sit there watching us as we played in the yard. Catching Lightening Bugs, Playing kick the Can, or just good old Hide n' go Seek.

He loved taking photos! I guess that's where I got it. He would watch for a good photo op and with-in a blink of an eye he would walk out with his expensive 35mm camera to take pictures of us kids playing or just lounging around in the sun drinking Iced Tea or Kool-aid. He was quite fond of taking those pictures when we had a stupid kool-aid mustache. Ugh and when he got his first Video recorder WATCH-OUT! Us kids went nuts! Trying to be the center of attention in the tape so we could watch ourselves and laugh at each other later. Infact... I came across a tape not too long ago.. Of myself slapping spoons together against my leg singing, "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly." ...... Thank god THAT'S NEVER going on Youtube!!!

In the summer months I spent a lot of time at my grandfathers. When I was not at Daycare I was over watching TV with my grandpa raiding his peanut jar not to mention his candy jar as well. I was a little shit when I was younger as well. Always fighting, back talking, even cussing. I ate a lot of soap growing up Hahaha! How he put up with me I was never really sure.

As I grew up and matured our bond only grew stronger. My mother met a man and we moved out of the house across the street. That didn't stop me from going to my grandfathers whenever I could. I would spend the night there sometimes and have dinner with him almost every night. On random nights we would even make malts to have with dinner. We would often sit at the table picking on my aunt Julie and making slurping noises whenever she would take a drink or suck up s noodle sending her into a fit of giggles. Things were like that for years.

I was 23 when I hit the first hard turning point in my life. I was tired of living with my mother and Stepfather. So I started looking for houses. I found one not too far from my Mother's or grandfather's. I had found as diamond in the rough. I didn't want to buy it though. Not until my grandfather saw it. He agreed calling it "a nice little house." He didn't say anything else but I knew he was proud of me. So I made my Offer. My close date was set, May 30th 2007. May 16th 2007 I got a call from my mother at work. My father was rushed to the hospital. I stayed at the Hospital May 17th; My Step-aunt woke me to tell me my father was dying. May 18 2007 my father passed away from Esophageal Cancer. It was a hard blow to me. I went to my Grandfather later that day. He said to me "You know Kiddo he never really was there for you." That made me mad.... Very mad. How could he have said something like that to me the day my Father died!! I look back now.... He was right... although his timing was bad he was trying to tell me that He had always been there for me. My father didn't seem to know how to be there for me, but my grandfather did and was.

I saw my grandfather less and less over the next year. I don't know why... Maybe it was because I was a busy homeowner now or maybe I was just being lazy. I did however have dinner with him a few more times before he passed. Infact the night before we had a family get-together at my mother’s house. That afternoon my Mother and stepfather took him out to Sam's Club to pick up a few things. He had a blast! He rode around in one of those electric carts running into things and calling out to people coming his way. "Watch out this is my first time on one of these things!!" My mother would walk away turn around and he would either be cruising around up and down the rows or stuck on an end cap. They say when you die you are at your happiest. I believe this is true for my grandfather. We all joined together at the house watched some football, talked and ate some chili. The last thing I said to my grandfather was "Bye Grandpa." Monday night my mother called to tell me my grandfather had passed. The duct tape that held our family so tightly together finally let go. I wish I would have known. I would have stayed there longer. I would have hugged him tightly and told him how much he's impacted my life. How much I'll miss watching him tinker around in his workshop building squirrel feeders, churches, lazy Susan’s, end tables, and tin men. The passion he put into his work and life will be the thing I remember the most. He was a great man and I will never forget him.


So Cheers to you Grandpa.
Have a few beers for us. Love you.